Number One and Number Two

You know, I have never been able to bring myself to order a number one or a number two value meal at McDonalds.

I just can't do it.

When kids are little, I have heard them refer to their 'elimination' processes in the manner of number one being urine, and number two being feces.

And so, since McDonalds and Burger King and other fast food places in general do have a reputation for selling people, "Shitty food" I can't understand why they would refer to any food stuff on their menus with numbers like that.

I have never tried a number one or a number two at McDonalds or Burger King or any other place.

Once, I went through the drive through at McDonalds, and I was going to try to order a number two, because if I recall correctly, it doesn't look like a bad value meal.

However, I started sniggering when I tried to get the words out.
I was like, "Hi, I'll have a, heh heh heh." Then I started giggling. "Ha ha ha. A number. . . a number. . . . . uhhhhhhhhhhh."

Finally, I just got a "number seven."

I'll bet the person working the fast food window thought I was retarded.

I just kept thinking to myself, "Hi I'd like to order some shit."

I mean, a number two. Ha! ha!

I wonder if there's anyone else in this world who just couldn't ever bring themselves to order a number two at a fast food restaurant, or if I'm the only person out there with this problem.

I wonder if the number ones and the number twos are always the worst selling value meals at every restaurant.

I wonder if this is a sign that I really am incredibly immature.

If you can roll through a McDonalds drive through and order a number two with a straight face, does that mean that you are a 'real grown up'?

I'll bet a true adult can go into any fast food place and order a number two. without thinking anything of it. They'd just take their sandwich and leave.

They wouldn't be thinking stuff to themselves like,
"Yeah, why don't you sell me some shit? At least you're honest. Why don't you super size my number two while you're at it? Or make it a king size. Or a supreme. Do you think you could put some sour cream and some tomatoes on my number two?"

I'll bet some people, ESPECIALLY health food people, think that every thing on the menu at fast food places are 'number twos anyway."

Man, I really do need to become more mature and stop being such a dork.

I should go to McDonalds right now and order a number two. That would be a sure sign that I was a true adult, and not just a big, overgrown, twelve year old.