I gotta get some food

You know, I was laying on my bed with my arms folded up under me, and I was at such an angle so that I could really feel my ribs under my arm.

So much so, in fact, that I got to thinking about one of those big sides of ribs that you can buy at the grocery store.

I was making myself hungry, feeling my ribs like that, and I got to wondering that if I was ever eaten by cannibals, would I be quality meat?

If cannibals ate me, would I be tasty? It's a hard question to answer, but worth asking.

It's a true fact that animals have a different flavor to their meat depending on what it is that they feed off of.

For instance, reports from people who have eaten rats living in New York City inform us of that fact that city rats are stringy and taste like garbage.

However, rats that feed off sugar cane in Jamaica have been reported to have a sweet flavor.

So clearly, a large portion of whether or not a rat is good to eat depends largely on where it hails from, and what the rat eats as its daily diet.

Because of this discrepancy in rat flavor, it makes me wonder what types of people a cannibal would look for when they were looking to score some dinner.

Cannibal tribes have told anthropologists that humans taste like pork.

In fact, humans are often referred to as 'long boned pork' in native circles.

If people taste like pork, it stands to reason that the same type of a diet pigs are given would produce relatively good meat in a human.

Since pigs mostly eat slop, I have to assume that most any human diet would probably be adequate when taking the flavor of human meat into consideration.

People who are strong and lean would most likely be tough and stringy.

However, a person who was over weight would probably produce fatty meat, although, the meat would probably be tender.

Since I don't eat very much anymore and I think I'm dying from starvation, I'll bet if someone cooked me and ate me, I'd be stringy.

I'm not very active though, so I bet I would relatively tender.

I'll bet I would be a tender, stringy meat. I might possibly be gamey too, since I am technically a wild animal.

I was looking the baby over, and I'll bet she'd be tender—like veal.

It's more than likely that her milk fed diet would produce a sweet meat, I'll bet.

I wonder what types of people cannibals usually look for?

I wonder if vegetarians are better to cook and eat, or if meat eaters have a better flavor?

I wonder if smoking cigarettes would affect the flavor of a person's meat?

These are good questions.

It's too bad the only cannibal I personally know of is Jeffrey Dahmer.

Jeffrey Dahmer gave cannibalism a bad name though.

I wouldn't want to ask someone like that how best to cook a human.

It would be far better to go and ask native peoples from cannibal tribes these questions.