Why Angelina Jolie is awesome

Angelina Jolie is all right now that she's a goodwill ambassador and is trying to save the world.

She had like five kids and is dating Brad Pitt, so she's busy now trying to make domestic life look 'cool', I guess.

However, back when she used to cut herself up with knives and wear blood around her neck in little vials, she was awesome.

That's how you know you're hot. The women who are curling their hair, and bitching about their makeup are not hot. Not really.

It's those women who you see and you're like, 'Wow, she's hot', I think I'm gonna go over and try to talk to her.

But then, when you go over and try to talk to her, she immediately pulls a steak knife from out of her back pocket, gashes her arm wide open, then looks right at you and says, 'Still think I'm hot, fucker?"

Now those women are hot.

If you're so attractive that you deliberately have to freak people out just to get rid of them, then you are hot.

If I was that pretty, I'd have a great time. I'd act so crazy, no one would ever talk to me.

I'd do cool stuff, like light a cigarette, and then if someone came over to talk to me, I'd eat it.

I'd shave my head and my eyebrows just for the hell of it. I'd do it just to piss people off.

That's why Angelina Jolie is so damn cool. She's a member of the 'true' hot chicks society, the one that teaches all its members that, 'Yeah, I'm hot. And, I'm gonna scare the living shit out you if you don't leave me alone about, too.'

I think she's great. She's my hero.