Shawshank Redemption

You know, the Shawshank Redemption is one of my favorite movies.
The movie helped to formulate my idea of what I imagined prison to be like, too.

I used to figure that if I was ever sent to prison, I'd have to wear a jumpsuit, or a uniform of some kind, and that I'd spend my days working at maybe a little license plate job and whittling.

I thought I'd research a lot of law information in the law library. I'd spend my days exercising and getting strong while I made life long friends.

That's why I now find it so disturbing to discover the fact that people in prison are all making homemade weapons out of razor blades and melted down toothbrushes and then hiding the weapons in their rectums while they wait to stab somebody.

What kinds of people are being sent to prison these days? My God, it wasn't like the Shawshank Redemption AT ALL.

Now don't get me wrong, prison, even in the Shawshank Redemption, was no cake walk. No one really wanted to live there, and there were scary, creepy people around. But my God, at least some of those people were cultured and intelligent.

The only way I'd ever make it prison is if I transferred to the 'Sensitive Needs' area of the prison.

The Sensitive Needs area of the prison is where they house anyone who the other prisoners might murder immediately.

They have to sort of keep some prisoners away from other prisoners, because some prisoners have committed crimes that will get them murdered.

There are certain things that you don't want to go to prison for. You also probably don't want to go to go to prison if you are 'soft', meaning that you aren't a hardened criminal.

I don't know what I would be sent to prison for, if I ever had to go, but I'll bet it would be for something stupid or sissy. I wouldn't be able to hold my own against the people with the 'Toothbrush knives."

So that means I'd have to hang out with the creepy people with the 'Sensitive Needs', otherwise, roving bands of frightening convicts would try to stab me with their homemade weapons.

Prison isn't the glamorous place that the movies make it out to be, not at all.

I've decided that I don't want to go. Back when I was younger, I thought a viable life path would be to go into a Post Office and wave a gun around. If you do that, they will send you to prison for a long time.

Then, I thought I'd study home correspondence courses, and get lots of different degrees.

I'd never have to worry about getting dressed because I'd a uniform, and they'd feed me three meals a day.

However, if roving gangs were gonna stab me with homemade weapons they had been hiding in their rectums, I'm afraid that after further consideration, I feel that all positive aspects I can think of regarding living in prison are far outweighed by the negatives.

Long live living on the 'Outside'!