Food

You know, in a way it's kind of sad that people think it's so easy to manipulate me with food.

In some ways, people are even condescending about it.

Margaret called me and she was like, "Barbie, will you come over. I made a tuna noodle casserole."

Like, what? Do you think that just because you made a tuna noodle casserole I'm jumping up and down to get it?

If I show up to visit someone and they happen to be eating they're always like, "Got your psychic powers on, huh Barbie? Could you smell dinner from the road?"

Bah! I'm not that desperate for some food.

The people who I know will be stunned after I learn to cook for myself and they realize that they can no longer use food as a bargaining chip, or as a form of manipulation.

I'm not that desperate for a taco. I can get my own tacos anyway.

It's almost insulting, really, when you think about it.

"If you help me paint, I will make you some spaghetti."

"If you go shopping with me I'll buy you a sandwich."

Margaret used to think she could get me to go swimming at the YMCA for a taco. I have no idea where she even came up with the notion.

She'd call me constantly. "Wanna go to the Y? I'll buy you a taco."

And I was just, "No. I don't LIKE the Y."

"But Barbie, everyone knows you'd do anything for a taco."

I will not!

I hate the YMCA. The water there is not clean. The chlorine burns my skin.

I'm not going to the YMCA for a taco. Fuck you!

People think they can get me to do almost anything for food.

Where did people get this notion?

I'm not that easy to manipulate.

I don't care if you do have a tuna noodle casserole. It doesn't make any damn difference to me.

It's always the first thing people say to me too.

"Barbie I have (cookies, homemade bread, soup, etc etc) will you (come over, help me paint, watch my kids, go with me to the store etc etc)."

And people blame my bad moods on food too.

It is VERY condescending to be in the middle of a temper tantrum and have someone hand you a granola bar.

"Here Barbie, I know you're not REALLY mad, your blood sugar is just low. You just need some food."

Fuck you! My blood sugar is not low. I'm mad!

Condescending bastards who think I'll do anything for a taco. It's not true.
Just wait until I start cooking for myself. Then I'll have all kinds of food.