The only 'flat tire' I've ever had

I'm going to tell you about a car I used to drive a long time ago.

My Uncle John, who is a mechanic, got it for me from the junk yard for three hundred dollars. It was a red Pontiac.

When I got it, it had frozen struts. John told me that he was going to fix them, but he never did.

When I turned on the windshield wipers, the one on the left would fly off and wrap itself around the side mirror. The car had only one hubcap. The glove box opened and closed just long enough for me to get my proof of insurance inside of it, but after that the glove box wouldn't open anymore, until I busted it open by frantically kicking it after I got stopped for speeding by a cop. (Which got me out of the ticket, and it a story in its own right.)

After the glove box was broken open, it wouldn't stay shut and the little light inside would run the battery down.

I tried to duct tape the glove box closed, but the glue on the duct tape would get warm, or old, or something and then come unstuck, thus turning on the little light inside of the glove box and running the battery down during the night. My mom backed into the car, twice actually, and after the accidents, the right headlight was pointed off in the wrong direction, so it looked like I was shining for deer. There was a large hole in the cars muffler, and the gas tank cover thing simply would not close. People used to flag me down to tell it was open, and all I could say to them was, "I know".

The speedometer was broken, it had no turn signals, and the windshield was cracked. One day, while I was at the drive through at McDonalds, the very nice man in line behind me got out to inform me of the fact that the gas tank was leaking. I had often wondered how it was that I got such bad gas mileage, and at that moment, I suddenly knew exactly why I got such bad gas mileage.

The passenger door wouldn't open, the driver's side window was broken, the trunk didn't open, and I had no door key. I know this is starting to sound like a Shell Silverstein poem, but it's true that this car was in rough shape

So anyway, I was driving along one day, right? When I got a flat tire. I didn't know what to do because I was very young and I have never gotten a flat tire before. Actually, to be totally honest, this is still the only 'flat tire' that I've ever had. So I don't really know if I can change a tire or not since I've never had to. But anyway, since my car was clearly no good for driving, what with the flat tire and all, I decided to abandon the vehicle in the middle of the road and leave on foot.

While I was walking home, as luck would have, my a person who I know named Margaret was driving by, and picked me up. She and I decided to drive back to my car in order to investigate the situation. A cop was already there. He asked me where my tire was, and why I had abandoned my vehicle.

I told him that my car had a flat tire and so I left. He told me that that was illegal, that I couldn't abandon my car in the middle of the road, and that I had no tire.
I told him that I couldn't have moved the car off to the side of the road because when the tire went flat the car refused to roll forward anymore.

He told me that that was because there was no tire. The tire had flown off. It had broken off completely. The cop searched for a while with his flash light to try and find the tire—however, it was never found. This was worst car I ever drove.