Takeru "Tsunami" Kobayashi

I am sad to report that the great Japanese speed eater, Takeru "Tsunami" Kobayashi, has given himself a terrible case of jaw arthritis, and so cannot compete in the next Hot Dog eating event.

I think this sucks bad because I am a great fan on Kobayashi. While I don't generally follow speed eating competitions, I will watch them if they happen to be on TV.

I personally witnessed this 'little man' eat 53 hot dogs in less than 12 minutes.

It was some kind of a world record, and, it was one of the coolest things I think I've ever seen.

It motivated me to see if I could train for a 'Speed eating' competition. So I got out a package of hot dogs, and I timed myself while I ate them as fast as I could.

Not only couldn't a finish the entire package of hot dogs, but I felt slightly ill after the fourth one.

I have a great respect for this Kobayashi guy just because he can eat as many hot dogs as he does, and he still isn't fat.

I've watched thin people speed eating sticks of butter on TV before.

This is why I can't understand how it is that some people can train for years to become speed eaters and remain thin, while other people become gigantic with little to no effort.

For instance, we were watching a special on TV about people who are morbidly obese.

This guy was trapped in his bedroom, but had asked to be removed by a team of people who were supposed to take him to get help for his food addiction.

They had to remove his bedroom wall, then 16 people came in and lifted him up, and carried him to a waiting truck.

The people who came to rescue this guy from his room took the truck they were driving, with him in it, to a weigh station. They weighed him and the truck together, subtracted the weight of the truck, and found that he was almost 600 lbs.

Because his ankle was broken, they were afraid that they would have to take him to the zoo to use the x-ray equipment that zoologist usually use on elephants.

What I can't understand is, how can Takeru "Tsunami" Kobayashi, a little, tiny Japanese man, manage to practice speed eating so much that he gave himself jaw arthritis and still only weigh, I'd say 150 lbs tops. . . Yet this other guy is so big that if we killed him and used his blubber for oil, we could make a candle for every person who lives in Michigan.

How is it that some people are speed eating sticks of butter, and yet somehow are remaining within normal weight ranges, and then other people are so humongous that they're taken them to the zoo for x-rays and health check ups?

What the hell?

I cannot figure this out at all.