I don’t know why my roommates let me watch their kids

So Bekki had me baby-sit Nikki the other day. We were eating macaroni and cheese and watching Sponge Bob square pants, which I have to tell you, is actually a pretty good show. So I was watching my show, when Nikki came staggering over to me with a black felt tip marker and asked me to give her a tattoo. I figured that it would wash off anyway, so I drew some semblance of a butterfly on her bicep. Then, I wrote part of a Shell Silberstein poem on her back.
She got excited with the writing I was doing on her back, so she turned around and asked me to write, "I love my bunny rabbit" on her forehead. I almost did, but then I decided that since the kid can't read anyway, I could write anything I wanted on her forehead and she'd never know the difference. So I wrote, "I AM THE CHEESE" on her forehead instead. Now, you might think that this would get me into some trouble, but instead, when Bekki came home, she looked Nikki over and she asked her why her forehead said, "I am the cheese."
Nikki was like, "No, it says, 'I love my bunny rabbit.'
"No," Bekki said, "It says I am the cheese."
Nikki got all irate and she was "No! It says I love my bunny rabbit!!!"
Bekki was like, "Fine then, it says 'I love my bunny rabbit.' I guess someone better learn how to read."
See, I didn't even get yelled at.
Another thing that I've found out is that Nikki is really afraid of the police for some reason. All I've got to do if I want her to quit doing something that's irritating me is to tell her that I'm calling the cops. I took it too far once, though, and actually pretended to dial 911. She started crying and shaking because she was sure the police where coming for her.
I gave her a long speech about how she was minor, and the worst she could possibly get at this stage in her life was to be sent to a juvenile detention center. She just kept crying about how she didn't want to go to jail, and she refused to be comforted until her mother came home and informed her that the police weren't coming.
The only time I ever actually got in trouble with Bekki for disrespecting her kids, is the time I went and got myself ice cream and took myself to the park without the children. I was driving around when I decided that ice cream sounded good. Once I got the ice cream, I just felt like going to the park would be a good time. So I went, and swung on the swings, and walked down by the river and had a lovely time.
Then I went home and told Bekki about the great time I had going to the park and taking myself out for ice cream.
It never occurred to me that Bekki was gonna get pissed, but she did. She was like, "You took yourself to the park? Did you not think about the children?"
I was just like, "No, Bekki, I don't have any kids. And I was just driving along see, and there was this ice cream place. . ."
She was like, "My kids are your kids too, you asshole!"
When I tied to tell her that they actually aren't my kids, per say, they're her kids, she got mad and threw a shoe at me.
But I learned my lesson. Now whenever I get to thinking I should go get some ice cream, or head to the park, I always think to myself, "I guess I better go get that kid."
I'll be a wonderful mother someday, I'm sure.