My roomate's cat is a freak

When I first moved in, I just thought that my roommate's cat liked me a lot.

She used to lean over the back of the couch and stare deeply into my eyes. At night, she's come into my room and rub against my legs while I was trying to sleep. I thought maybe she was lonely. I had no idea she had designs on me.

That cat is a freak. She jumps out at me while I'm walking through the kitchen, right, lands on my foot and starts humping it while she makes these weird cat moans. I was like, "Get the hell away from me you stupid cat. I am a FEMALE HUMAN. I cannot mate with a cat."

Anyway, it was my foot she was after, which was weird too. There's no possible way that my foot could ever get that freaky cat pregnant. That cat needs to get out of the house. I'm tempted to go get her a male cat, just so that she can mate.

You should have seen her go after a slipper someone left on the floor. That cat is over sexed and frightening. She is never allowed to come into my bedroom ever again.