An Exciting New Discovery

I just found out that you can go on social security/disability for being retarded.

I'll bet all you have to do is fail an IQ test administered by the state.

Forget about studying to pass stupid, hard tests. Screw that, I'm gonna go down and fail that IQ test.

It can't be that hard to fail an IQ test. Anyone can fail an IQ test if they try.

All you have to do in order to fail an IQ test, is circle the wrong answer every time you happen to know the right answer, and then just circle the worst 'guess' for the questions you don't know the right answer to anyway.

It's impossible not to fail a test if you try.

I feel like a damn genius over here for coming up with this plan.

I mean, how do they keep the people who might score above an 80 on an IQ test from going down and attempting to fail the test so that they can become certified?

That's why this is so brilliant. Anyone can fail the test.

You can't fail FAILING the test!

I'm going to make an appointment on Monday to see about going down to fail the IQ test, and whatever other tests they may give to me.

Then, after I prove to the authorities that I am profoundly retarded, I'm going to go live in a home.

I'll bet I could get in, for sure. And I'll bet I'd like living in a home better than where I live now.

I'm ready to move almost anywhere else. I think I might have Aimee convinced that we need to get an apartment together.

But if not, a home would be all right as well.

And do you know what else would be cool?

It would be cool if you went down and became a member of Mensa, and then, after which, you went down and became certified as being retarded and then went on disability.

You know, they investigate disability claims, and so it would be interesting to see how long it would take you to get busted if you were also a 'certified genius.'

I wonder if you could argue that you are an idiot savant?

Another thing too, that is probably true, is that since they watch people who go on disability for having physical ailments, they would probably watch someone who went on disability for being retarded.

What this means, of course, is that once you went on the disability for being retarded, if you were lying, then you'd have to make sure no one caught you doing anything that might not be in keeping with your real IQ score.

You probably wouldn't be off at the library, checking out books, because that would suspicious behavior. As would opening up a accounting business. Or publishing a book.

What's more is that, you probably couldn't get into Grad school.

Although, I guess it's still possible that you could go to Grad school, as long as you went and got an MBA Ha! Ha! Ha! (I'm just joking, bad joke)

I really do think it might be true though, that it would be discrimination to refuse to allow any particular group of individuals into a public school, so I might be able to go off the Grad school even if I did live in a home

I might have to research my life options living as someone who has failed the 'state certified IQ test', just to see what kinds of things I will no longer be able to do in the future.

My new life philosophy is now 'Aim Low Grasshopper—but don't hit your foot.'

I'm (mostly) joking with this post. If anyone knows any retarded people, please don't take any offence. . . . .
I know that being retarded is a serious condition and that it isn't funny.

I know because my roomate is retarded. Ha! Ha! (Joke)