My Brother’s Feet

If my brother, Josh, ever finds out I posted this on my blog, he's gonna kick my ass. It's possible that I will be killed, or else, at the very least this blog will be deleted.
So this might very well be a temporary blog. I'm gonna post it anyway though. He He He.

Alright, so here's how the story goes:

When my dad was in Vietnam, we're pretty sure he caught a strange foot rot disease. It was terrible. My dad's feet were all messed up. They itched, they were red. No knew what was wrong with them.

I myself diagnosed him with a sort of foot rot know only to certain isolated parts of the Vietnamese jungle.

When we were kids, me and Josh used to put on Dad's shoes and walk around in them. Dad had huge feet, so it was fun to pretend to ski in them, and such like.

I never caught the foot disease (thank God) but Josh did.

Josh almost took a picture of his feet when he was taking pictures of me the other day, and then he stopped and he was like, "No, I'm not gonna take a picture of my feet because if I did you'd post it to your MySpace page. I know you."

I was just like dammit, that would have been a GREAT picture. He's feet are all red and covered with open sores and ooze. Personally, I think they're neat. And they smell really bad. You can smell Josh's feet from across the room.

Once, he slept in my bed, and put his naked feet on my pillow and I thought I was kill him. My pillow smelled so bad, I washed it like three times.

It's actually kind of sad, because Josh has tried everything to cure his foot rot.

Once, he came over to my house and asked me for my help. Like a good sister, I got out a bucket, and I poured rubbing alcohol over his feet. He winced a lot, but he took it like a man.

It didn't help though.

So then, I got some vinegar, and I poured that over his feet instead.

I've never felt so bad in my entire life. Tears were rolling down his face, as he tried to control the pain.

He finally gasped out, "Barbie! This hurts worse than the time I soaked my feet in gasoline!"

I was just like, "What the hell did you soak your feet in gasoline for dude?"

"To kill the foot rot," He said.

I told him, I was just like, "Josh, if you've soaked your feet in gasoline already, and the foot rot didn't die, than you've got something other than just foot rot."

I went online for him and started looking up pictures of the flesh eating virus that some people have come down with, and when I showed him the pictures he panicked and made a doctors appointment.

There, the doctor diagnosed him with, "Sweaty feet."

That's in. Not even jungle rot. I think he should get a second opinion.

How could feet that look all rotten and smell that bad just be 'sweaty'?

Like I said, Josh is gonna kick my ass after I post this, but it's worth it because wasn't it a funny post?