Why I quit being a vegetarian

Man I love blogging, this is great. And it's sort of exciting too, because there really is a slim chance that some one might read my posts.

So I'll tell another story. This story is called: Why I quit being a vegetarian.

It was hard for me become a vegetarian because I'll pretty much eat anything. I once ate the remains of a bag of cereal that I found under the couch. Just a few days ago, my roommate, Bekki, caught me eating some moldy cheese that I hadn't realized had gone all moldy. It's a good thing I live with people, because I need their help to perform my daily activities.

But anyway, I used to be really into yoga, and I decided to become a vegetarian for spiritual reason. I figured that Gandhi was a vegetarian, Benjamin Franklin was a vegetarian (although, in his autobiography he suggests that people who are should knock it off and just 'be reasonable creatures' which REALLY pissed me off the first time I read it), all sorts of cool people are vegetarians.

So it was hard, but I quit it with the meat. Instead, I ate vegetables, and bread and potato chips. After a while, I didn't know why, but I noticed that I appeared to be losing muscle mass. I felt weak, and lethargic. Also, I have very fine hair, and I became convinced that I was balding. I spent hours standing in from of the mirror wondering if I could get my eyebrows to grow long enough to slick them back in order to fill in what I thought were my bald spots. I used to watch 'Hair Club for Men' infomercials and cry. Why don't they have 'Hair Clubs' for women.

In short, I was depressed.

I kept up my vegetarianism, however, for a long time.

Until one day, while in an English class, a girl sat down next to me and started talking. She talked andshe was very sweet and good company. Then she started in on her vegetarianism.

Here's how the conversation went, "blah, blah, blah. . . .I can't remember what she said. . . . Blah, Blah and then. . . Because I'm a vegetarian, my mom makes me eat corn fed, free range, organic, chicken once a month, otherwise my hair starts falling out."

I froze in my seat. All that was moving was my twitching eye.

"You're hair falls out, you say?" I said.

"Yeah," she said, "It gets really thin, like yours."

The class couldn't get out soon enough. Once it finally did, I jumped in my car, and raced home at high speeds. Then, I burst in though the front door, ran to the kitchen, pulled out a package of baloney and ate the entire thing. After that, I ate bacon, and eggs, and any other meat stuff I could find, until I was sick. And then I went and stood in front of the bathroom mirror and I thought to myself, "I knew I was balding. I knew I was."

After that, I stopped being a vegetarian. I am firmly in Ben Franklin's camp on this one now.

Sure, I love the little animals, and I'd like to be enlightened. But I got to tell you, until I learn to eat the tofu and the beans and stuff like that, I'm just sticking with the cheese burgers that I buy while I drive around looking for some food late at night, after I've realized that I haven't eaten all day.