Conspiracy Theory

Everyone loves a good conspiracy theory.

I love the theory that the whole moon landing was staged, and that we only pretended to go to the moon so that we would look smarter than the Russians.

Conspiracy theories are just fun in general, that's why I have decided to make up one of my very own.

I hope that if anyone actually reads this that they will not be offended, most especially considering the fact this just a fun little conspiracy theory that I made up myself.

It goes like this:

The Canadians would like to take the over United States of America.

Now, Canadians are civilized, clean living, and intelligent.
They are not terrorists. They do not have camps set up in order to train terrorist and other horrible things.

Oh no. Not the Canadians.

Instead, the Canadians have camps to train politicians. Young upstart Canadian lawyers join up with these camps in order to learn how to take the USA down.

Since this Canadian takeover is a relatively new endeavor, the Canadians started with the great state of Michigan because it is so close to Canada.

They groomed several young people, and then sent them off to try to become governor of Michigan. It worked!

With the help of thousands of Canadians, disguised as Michigan residents, the Canadian governor Jennifer Granholm was elected to lead our state.

Now, please, this is JUST a conspiracy theory, one I made up myself, so don't become offended when I tell you that one of the Canadian goals was to close all the auto factories here because they were tired of the pollution that has been billowing out of those factories and polluting their country for years.

After the factories closed, the residents of Michigan began their great migration, with thousands of people forced to move out of the state in search of new work; which was, of course, exactly what the Canadian government had hoped would happen.

Slowly, the people are moving out, and soon, the state will be completely evacuated.

This is step two, of the great Canadian take over.

Step three is the total closing down of the State of Michigan.

I don't really know why no one but me has pointed out the fact that a Canadian person wants to shut down the State of Michigan and no eyebrows have been raised in suspicion.

Clearly, the State of Michigan shutdown was all part of a master plan, devised by the Canadians.

After everyone has moved out of Michigan, and the state has shut down completely, there will be nothing left for our governor to do but to gift the great state of Michigan to Canada.

Soon, according to this theory, the next governor of Ohio will also be a Canadian. Following in the footsteps of the Michigan governor, Ohio will soon be evacuated and then shut down as well.

State after state will follow suit and the great Canadian takeover will be well underway.

The Canadians are a brilliant people. Their plan is a non hostile takeover of this country.

Soon, their empire will spread to include all of North America.

Eventually, we will be backed into a corner, and we will have to surrender, or else continue to flee southward.

You might as well just give up now, throw in the towel, and swear your allegiance to our neighbors of the north.

That's what I'm gonna do. I'm even practicing the Canadian National Anthem.

It goes like this. I think everyone should start memorizing it:

O Canada! Our home and native land!

True patriot love in all thy sons command.

With glowing hearts we see thee rise,
The True North strong and free!

From far and wide,
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

God keep our land glorious and free!
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.